They were math teachers. Read on.
Teacher Arrested for Conspiracy at JFK Airport
NEW YORK -- A public school math teacher was arrested
today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to
board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,
a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General
Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by
the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.
"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values."
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every
country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3
sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.